Depression Fucking Sucks.. But There is Hope. I promise.

Hi All-

I’m reposting yesterday’s post on FB on #LamarOdom and how his tragic situation affected me.  I wrote about my own struggles and continued success on my batlles with the demonic depression beast and how I have created a happy life.

I’m new to blogging and hope it can help one person find the help they need.

#‎LamarOdom‬. My heart breaks for you. With your celebrity, resources and connections, you couldn’t deal with your pain, addictions and the demon beast of depression.
After suffering a soul crushing breakup and “despondent” an understatement- coupled with massive weight gain and three suicidal episodes, there is hope but it’s truly a fight to the finish.

I have mental illness and I know many of you have called me “meshugana ( mental for you goys) ” and I’ve laughed along while you’ve taken the piss out of me.
I don’t want to be ashamed because I have an “undiagnosed depressive disorder” that gets triggered when in the presence of bullies or verbally abusive people.

My father once criticized me “You don’t own real estate.”
Dad, I’ve spent over a 1/4 million dollars on therapy to undo your wrongs.. I got a penthouse in my head,”

Heartbreak coupled with untreated childhood abuse ( we all have something people!) delivers you to the brink of “ways to cease the pain.”
Depression is beyond hopeless. It’s a cold February day or swimming upstream in quicksand or both.
All you obsess over is “how can I kill the pain, should I take pills, drive into a divider or jump off a balcony?”

I was there. If it wasn’t for therapy( a must for everyone) and finding the right therapists, I wouldn’t be here.

Thank G-d for my insane thoughts. As I was planning my exit this thought popped into my head.
“What if I head down to the 79th St boat basin, ingest my fist-full of prescription drugs and down it with vodka and a homeless clown starts banging me as I’m heading towards the white light,, do I want that to be my last moment on earth?”

My therapist burst out laughing when I told her. Her reaction made me laugh and was the moment the “hope” switch flipped on. I’ve worked my ass off to have the life I have now. I worked my ass off to rid my life of bullies, battle debilitating depression and find love, weight loss and self esteem.

After going to one shit psychopharmacologist after the other, paying out of pocket for therapy, shrink visits and meds – I finally found the right combination of meds and therapy.

If anyone is in pain, find someone to talk to, go to a meeting, find a therapist. It takes a village to battle depression.

P.S ‪#‎FUCK‬ YOU HEALTH INSURANCE COMPANIES, ‪#‎THERAPYALLTHEWAY‬ ‪#‎therapysaveslives‬

#unitedhealthcaregetaclue  #bluecrossblueshieldgetaclue #obamacarewakeuptomentalillness

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